A World of Darkness; A World of Hope

Regardless of questions regarding the existence of a creator, the human has enormous mental potential with or without answering that question. Sadly humans often waste this potential through the creation of false ideologies, looking through jaded lenses, and possessing grossly misconceived or illogical perceptions of reality. Self-absorbed and self-righteous behaviors perpetuate these thoughts of illogical division and classification which, in turn, create strangers of the self and others. Because of this, humans do not pool their talents to create exponential mental achievements; instead they engage in gladiator matches of pitting one illogical or incomplete idea against another. This creates a dark world in which violence, terror, sadness, suffering, and a lack of love are the norm. The solution for this state of affairs will not be found in extrinsic searching for a higher being, rather, the individual must look internally to question illogical thoughts and live authentically. Humanity, then cannot reach species potential as long the self imposed world of violence exists and while the search for a creator serves as a scapegoat to avoid self-responsibility.

Buddha was originally known as Prince Siddhartha Gautama. At the age of 15 the young prince became greatly troubled about the suffering among his people. By the age of 29 he renounced his birthright and left the castle to wander among his people to discover the reason suffering existed. He wandered for six years meditating and practicing under various gurus. Then one day while meditating under a Bohdi tree, he finally reached nirvana, or enlightenment. He discovered that there are four reasons, also known as the Four Noble Truths, which explained suffering: 1) It exists; 2) it has a definable cause; 3) because it exists it possesses finality; and 4) reaching nirvana will end it. Reaching nirvana means one lives an enlightened life by following the Eightfold Path. This philosophy later became known as Buddhism.

The eightfold path, or eight stages of enlighenemnt, is meant to deliver the journeyer from the depths of selfish, self-indulgent, cravings to enlightenment by knowledge acquisition. This requires a true knowledge of self, including abdication of all the ill-conceived concepts of self. These ill-conceived concepts, or ignorance, are what causes suffering. Enlightenment means peace acquisition and security or the antithesis of suffering (Moore & Brudder, 2008).

Stages one and two deal with the “initial mental outlook of the individual” (Moore & Brudder, 2008, p. 534). Stage one necessitates that the individual must admit possession of those thoughts, feelings, and behaviors which will hinder his or her progress. When one is thusly limited, then illness of the mind, body, and spirit occur and thus block and abundance. This is about admitting culpability and responsibility for life. And stage two deals with one’s aim in life; one has to want to change and not feel resentment.

Stages three – six “specify appropriate behavior” (Moore & Brudder, 2008, p. 534) for the individual on this path. Stage three means that one is mindful of one’s tongue to keep from telling lies, gossiping, or engaging in useless chatter. Stage four describes one’s proper actions as keeping to an unselfish path particularly in regard to helping others. Stage five deals with achieving one’s livelihood through proper, not scrupulous means. And stage six deals with one making the effort to struggle against those actions that cause harm to others.

The last two stages “pertain to higher mental and spiritual qualities involved in a total disattachment from self” (Moore & Brudder, 2008, p. 534): Seven deals with the necessity for one to be mindful of all of one’s actions and through that mindfulness to “understand the nature of selfish craving” (Moore & Brudder, 2008, p. 534). And eight deals with purification of the thought and consciousness to be unwavering; therefore, liberating the mind from the fetters of suffering through absolute stillness. In all this, however, a deity, originator, or creator was not present. Because of the highly personal nature of these last two, and they are meant to just polish the work of the other six stages, no further explanation will be offered.

To explain better the first six stages of the Eightfold Path, various other philosophers’ ideas will be advanced. In many ways these will be seen as a tool box to help one progress down Buddha’s path by furthering understanding. These philosophies will not explain Buddha’s process per say; however, they will allow the individual to initiate locomotion.

Stage one means the individual must recognize those thoughts, feelings, and behaviors (hereafter referred to as ill behaviors) which will hinder his or her progress. One must first acknowledge that his or her life is one of ill feelings, sickness, and nausea; that the individual is responsible for his or her own life; and just about all of his or her actions are causing the ill feelings. One needs to realize that any action of clinging to something or someone, whether a belief, existence, or a selfish desire also abdicates self responsibility by keeping one away from his or her potential thus relegating one to a mere reactionary animal who happens to be sentient.
According to Buddha, two states of mind are responsible for keeping the individual in suffering and away from reaching enlightened living: ignorance and selfish craving. All ill behaviors that cause illness can be understood by one of these two categories. Likewise these categories find further explanation from a few other external philosophies.

Friedrich Nietzsche (Moore & Brudder, 2008) described people as herd animals, who mindlessly follow orders and never think for themselves. “Sheeple” or sheep-people also adequately describes this mentality. Nietzsche held that “The herd animal…is cowardly, reactionary, fearful, desultory, and vengeful” (Moore & Brudder, 2008, p. 167). Thus the people embrace slavery mentality and are not free to live in happiness and enjoy life to its fullest.

Jurgen Habermas (Moore & Brudder, 2008), a German philosopher, discussed the limitations on knowledge acquisition originating in deeply rooted ideologies, or illogical beliefs one possesses because of tradition. Political heads of state often initiated these ideologies to allow for political control through the inherent subjugation of the people to a slavery mentality. The people decided to buy into, and prepetuate this slavery of the mind.

Immanuel Kant (Moore & Brudder, 2008) discussed how these ideologies so drastically altered one’s state of mind and why people decided to hold onto them in the first place. Knowledge is inherently jaded or colored and is never an accurate representation of experiences and imagery. In many ways this can be likened to looking through lenses which filter sensory input to determine how one sees the world before one even becomes aware of it. For example, if one wears red colored lenses, then everything the individual sees will be in hues of red. This process of pre-filtering information is known as schema creation is psychology (Morris & Maisto, 2002). Schemas are perfectly normal and are absolutely necessary for higher cognitive functioning and automatic decision making. However, if left unchecked these schemas, or ways of thinking, can be “biased, distorted, partial, uninformed or down-right prejudiced” (2009, Critical Thinking: Where to Begin: Why Critical Thinking?). This excerpt was taken from the Society for Critical Thinking, who went further to explain proper thinking in the sense that, “…the quality of our life and that of what we produce, make, or build depends precisely on the quality of our thought. Shoddy thinking is costly, both in money and in quality of life.” (2010, Critical Thinking: Where to Begin: Why Critical Thinking?). This definition of faulty thinking gives expanded definition to Kant’s lenses or jaded perceptions. When life is seen through these lenses of faulty sensory input, then the result is a break away from human potential.

Jaded ideologies are also known as dogma. Dogma is a person’s infallible truths, particularly of a spiritual nature. These truths are illogical thought systems which create separation through self-importance. Maintaining a firm embrace on dogmas, jaded ideologies, or illogical thoughts means that one lacks self-love; or put another way, one practices self-loathing. Self-importance then is a facade to hide self-loathing to save face or create a life of “stupid self-confidence” (Moore & Brudder, 2008, p. 174) as Albert Camus put it, or a life of false pretences of happiness and joy to cover the ugliness of internal pain. These concepts come with a price not only for the individual choosing to live in darkness and creating separation from the self but also consequences for humanity in creating isolation from others. In isolation ideas are not shared, let alone built upon. This also occurs because humans have the knack to believe they are correct and infallible. The eternal argument of, “I am right and you are wrong” perpetuates because of this self-importance concept. In keeping to doctrine people do not realize how much they refuse to see someone else’s point. People ignore ideas that contradict their own or do not match their lens’ view. When separation perpetuates then ideas will never see the true fruition, magnificence, and exponential magnification which results from unity and sharing.

Deciding to question such illogical thoughts and deciding to hold no belief as sacred and infallible, means that one has decided to live authentically. According to Jean Paul Satre (Moore & Brudder, 2008), the roll of an individual was to gain knowledge by living authentically. Living authentically means making right choices geared toward individual growth, not choices made of greed. Freedom in life can only be had by making authentic choices free of the fetters of dogma, illogical thoughts, and bias. Thus ideology, or slavery, limits knowledge acquisition.
This brings up two concepts: the idea of responsibility through knowledge acquisition and the limitations on knowledge itself. One must be vigilant to acquire proper knowledge and to drive out ignorance causing events such as self-importance, or selfish desires as Buddha put it. This all seems easy; however, people are lazy and will take the path of least resistance. This path leads to suffering.

Sometimes people create such false ideologies because they desperately desire to escape the horrible world of violence around them. According to Camus (Moore & Brudder, 2008), he could see the reason people would choose suicide. He also affirmed that suicide was the easy way out and one needed to work through the roughness of life to reach potential. John Dewey (Moore & Brudder, 2008) believed similarly when he stated that life was not a spectator event and the “spectator theory of knowledge” (p.224) was just an easy way out. Choosing the easy way out, according to Camus relegated one to an inferior position of unfulfilled potential. The stoics (Moore & Brudder, 2008), discussed in the next section, also believed struggle defined the person and his or her fortitude to do what was right.

Camus also believed the violence of the world should not be met with personal violence, either to self as in suicide or a lack of self-efficacy, or in violence to others as in crime, punishment, and harsh words. Instead, one should choose to rise above that violence and choosing a life of authenticity to solve one’s problems. The problem occurs, however, because people cannot resist calls to violence. Meeting violence with violence was the result one would always achieve when living in the darkness of meaningless chatter and clinging to worldly deceptions as Buddha purposed (Moore & Brudder, 2008).

If something requires WORK then many people will succumb to their laziness and hurt other people. Sigmund Freud (Morris & Maisto, 2002), the father of Psychoanalysis, created the concept of the Super Ego which controls the animalistic desires of the id and the irresponsible ego’s fulfillment of those desires. He did add some explanation about laziness of the average person and the desire to take that path of least resistance; however, he committed Plato’s error in assigning such a fatalistic trap to humanity in saying that the average human had no control over such drives. He failed to take into account the concept of self-efficacy (Morris & Maisto, 2002), or the desire a person has to better him or herself and live up to his or her potential. So while the world is a cauldron of violence and strangers, this is not fate, because the individual can decide to do something about it.

Another problem with inauthentic living is the lack of accountability either personal or intrapersonal. According to the pragmatists (Moore & Brudder, 2008) the world will continue to exist in darkness because of ambiguity and incompleteness. People cannot be accountable as long as the darkness of ambiguity reigns. Increased accountability through clarity is absolutely necessary to escape the darkness. In essence, one needs to turn on the lights of knowledge and wisdom by using the proverbial light switch to banish the darkness; but turning the lights on requires work.

This wraps us stage one which basically simmers down to a single concept: one must acknowledge, own, and conquer the tendrils of self-deception and inauthenticity to reach enlightenment. Stage two discusses the resentment that will hold one back from embarking on the path toward enlightenment. One must acknowledge that the path is not easy and resist harboring any resentment about that path. To keep one’s orientation on the path, and to say on it in the first place, one needs to remember the three d’s of determination, dedication, and destination. First, one must challenge his or her own determination to the change. Second, one must remain dedicated to those changes. And third, one must maintain focus on the destination and avoid getting distracted by shiny or glamorous objects. The reason one must have determination, dedication and destination, is because it is very difficult to live one's life authentically when distraction is easy to come by.

The more one begins to question his or her “known” knowledge, or ideologies, the more these ideas come out as incomplete. This can be a maddening process because one quickly realizes that his or her entire life is a lie. Discomfort, something that people avidly avoid, is also a strong potential when embarking on this path. For these reasons the majority of people will not even attempt authentic living. People are creatures of comfort, habit, and complaint. People want to complain and worry, but few want to take action to fix it. Most of all people do not want to admit that their lives are a lie. People do not know about critical thinking, nor are they interested because it shakes up their comfort zone. In this regard, Plato (Moore & Brudder, 2008) was correct when he said that the prisoners of the cave would not listen to the one who had escaped. The escaped prisoner had seen the true reality and knew of the deception in the cave, but to the remaining prisoners their reality was true despite the evidence. The one who carries the truth also carries the key to freedom and is considered a liar by those who live in the darkness. In other words, people have a need to maintain their lives of “stupid self confidence” (Moore & Brudder, 2008, p. 174) and ideologies.

This mimics Buddha’s concept that one only experiences a life of darkness because he or she is tied up in the illusion of self and the need to cling to comfort no matter how many problems that comfort causes. People cannot look past the initial discomforts to realize that this process can be quite liberating and addicting. The further one progresses upon this path the more one begins to relish the destruction of structurally unsound ideologies. This is not the masochism of self-inflicted pain; rather it is an understanding that the discomfort is temporary and not indicative of greater discomfort. Discomfort is not pain only the reality of life is pain. Discomfort does not equal pain; to say thusly is illogical.

Extrinsic motivation (Morris & Maisto, 2002), or external validation, explains this lack of desire for living an authentic and non-ideological life and the apparent confusion over the nature of pain. When one seeks external validation, then one is constantly looking to external sources for motivation and feelings of rightness and satisfaction. In other words, extrinsic motivation means the individual does not gain satisfaction from the task, which is the definition for intrinsic motivation; rather satisfaction is only found in the reward for the task. The reward is often as simple as comfort. On the other hand, intrinsic motivation means one seeks internal rightness and would, therefore, see the logical error in believing one’s life is painful as opposed to merely uncomfortable. Therefore, when one puts forth the effort to live in authenticity and without ideologies, then one is generally intrinsically motivated (Morris & Maisto, 2002). Intrinsic motivation means one seeks self-efficacy (Morris & Maisto, 2002), or living up to one’s potential.

People seek external validation over self-validation. People look to an external deity, rules, beliefs, or ideas to control their lives and actions. People do not find satisfaction from intense self-examination and self-control; they do not find satisfaction in the process but only in a reward. This all goes back to many people’s need for ideologies or jaded lenses. There is a comfort to be found in knowing one’s position as a slave; it is scary to be the master. An intrinsically motivated person, on the other hand would find the process of self-realization to be invigorating. The intrinsically motivated person is not a masochist rather he or she looks past the temporary discomfort to find relief from the permanent pain of life. He or she finds comfort in the destruction of unsound ideologies and looks forward to what gets built out of the ashes.

To facilitate the act of drawing distinction between pain and discomfort and the move from extrinsic motivation to intrinsic motivation, one should take awareness of one simple concept. The stoics (Moore & Brudder, 2008) discuss that one needs to harden him or herself against life’s difficulties to aid in that distinction. This hardening would allow the individual to successfully deal with life’s difficulties rather than getting discouraged. Getting discouraged often leads feelings of failure making it easier to succumb to the negative feelings of Buddha’s (Moore & Brudder, 2008) selfishness and Camus’ (Moore & Brudder, 2008) calls to violence. Violence is as anything that robs one of living a life of reasoning in lieu of the compulsion of mere primitive animals. So, if one does not harden him or herself, then one does not have to tools to resist the calls to violence.

This hardening can be understood in the concept of a plant to transplant. Gardeners recommend that when one wants to start plants indoors to get an earlier start on the growing season, then they need to acclimate the new plants to the outdoors before planting them in the ground. This acclimation is to get the plants adjust to temperature and whether variations that are not found inside. Weather includes wind. If the plants have never encountered wind then they never built up strong enough stocks and roots to resist the wind, thus they will easily be blown down. To frame this differently, one can harden him or herself by becoming an expert at coal walking, or ignoring the discomfort and reconditioning one’s perspective about discomfort, to get quickly, and efficiently, to the other side.

To summarize stage two, one needs to realize their determination and desire to change and remain focused on the destination. Authentic living is difficult therefore it is easy to get distracted. People are focused too much on the discomfort and often confuse discomfort as synonymous with pain. In their confusion, people think their lives are merely uncomfortable and living authentically is to live in pain. Life is really the other way around. Pain is suffering, not seeking relief from suffering. This confusion finds explanation in people’s extrinsic motivation and desire for external validation and reward. The intrinsically motivated individual would see the fallacy in the belief that discomfort is synonymous with pain. People would not be so adverse to change or discomfort if they would take the time to harden themselves to resist calls to violence; calls which seem all too easy to submit to. If one cannot resist the calls to violence or the clinging as Buddha would put it, then one will not be able to continue this path without harboring resentment. One must banish resentment through intrinsic motivation if one wishes to continue and find solution for suffering.

To this point, the individual has an understanding of the nature of the problem facing the abdication of suffering. Stages three through six discuss these concepts from a different perspective: to expand one’s perception of where the problems really arise from.

Stage three discusses that one needs to be mindful of the tongue. Buddha believed there were three forms of chatter which needed to be quieted: body, mind, and word. One could only reach enlightenment when all three chatters were quieted. All forms of chatter must be eliminated to bring the individual true freedom and happiness. He also believed that once one found this silence and reached nirvana then he or she was in a position to lead others. Martin Hiddigger (Moore & Brudder, 2008) discussed the incessant chatter which takes place among people as a result of internal chatter. This, he said eliminated meaningful communication. Heiddigger seemed to refer to some external source when he discussed that meaningful communication meant listening to the wisdom of being. Buddha did not discuss allegiance to a deity, doctrine, or set ideology; in fact these things were detrimental. However, the wisdom of being could also be seen as an internal source. This internal source can be seen as that little voice inside one’s head which warns of danger, offers suggestions, and is the intuition, but is rarely listened to. If one is not mindful of the tongue, then he or she will pay allegiance to an external source rather than listening to the wisdom of being. One cannot listen if one is constantly talking.
Stage five deals with one finding their path or their livelihood by not succumbing to scrupulous means or by perverting the laws of justices. This also means that one should not take advantage of another person to gain the upper hand. All interaction should be fair. Another tool of assistance on this path is to look at life from the perspective of a game where all humans and life participate. The game must be fair. According to most, however, there must be a winner and a looser. John Nash (Osborne, 2002), restated Game Theory which necessitates a winner and a looser, to state that the best course for a game was to have everyone win. How is this possible, how can everyone win? This was called the theory of Equilibrium, and basically states that what is best for game progress is to ensure everyone has the best possible outcome. When everyone helps everyone else, then the game is a lot easier. In addition, he further explained that whenever a player looks out for his or her best interests they are relegating themselves to a lesser position.

The necessity to find a win-win solution means that traditional means of income generation must be re-examined. All forms of advertisement are meant to deceive the buyer into taking an action he or she would not normally take. This is all based on an understanding of psychology and what pushes people’s buttons to take action. Because almost all forms of income generation rely on advertising, then all are unscrupulous because they take advantage of a fellow human. All forms of exchange must be done with the best interests of both parties to be beneficial.

Knowledge seeking and application also suffer from scrupulous deception. All subjects across all realms of study, including humanities and science, suffer from a lack of unification. The problem with all forms of knowledge acquisition and human interaction is people are too convinced of their own self-importance. This prohibits any real win-win solution to be found. This self-importance also leads to the lack of unification. When self-importance is clung to, then knowledge could get lost in the skirmish. Knowledge would be further advanced if people would cease to engage in gladiator matches to pit one idea against another.

The Socratic Method (Moore & Brudder, 2008) could be used to facilitate the finding of a win-win solution (Osborne, 2002). This method involves systematically questioning each idea to bring about more clarity, thus finding a win-win solution. Once an idea is clarified, then each listener has a better understanding of the other’s concept or position. This understanding would also allow for the opposite views to be modified to find more alignment between the two concepts or to find that they were not so different after all. This unification among seemingly dissimilar ideas would mean that knowledge acquisition would occur at a much more rapid pace. When similarity is sought, solutions are created to solve bigger problems; when two or more come together to solve a problem, the results will be exponential. The knowledge seekers of today need to eliminate the stance of self-importance and learn to understand and integrate the knowledge of their counterparts to stop the stymieing of knowledge. The great solutions needed to solve the world’s massive problems will never be found if people cannot work together by finding win-win solutions.

Stage six deals with one being on guard against all forms of deceptive behavior and to continue to keep up the fight. These behaviors are like an addiction with a far spreading root system. The addiction, almost as if it has a life of its own, will struggle for survival. When one actively tries to make a change and deny something in his or her life, the denied behavior can, and often does, go underground and later resurfaces at an unexpected moment and in a form which will not alert the path traveler. According to Buddha, it would seem that the only life an addiction has is the clinging one has to that addiction. The addiction will leave when one is ready to cease clinging. Therefore, because one is not ready to cease clinging, but consciously does not want to admit that, then he or she will seek underhanded ways to cling without having to admit to the self the real problem.

Gilles Deleuze (Moore & Brudder, 2008) discusses a similar concept. He said life is often viewed as a tree where all pieces of life are disconnected an alone. However, he believed the idea was incorrect. Life should be viewed as having characteristics more similar to that of a rhizome which spreads underground, horizontally, occasionally sending up shoots, but it is all interconnected. A rhizome will spread and destroy anything blocking its progress, but it never develops a deep root system. To look at an addiction, ill behavior, or something which is desired by the possessor to be removed, then one would see that these things are almost never isolated incidents. Rather they have far reaching and spreading roots which have occasionally sent up shoots elsewhere. This would explain why when a thing goes underground and resurfaces later, the individual thinks it is a different thing. Close examination would show that this new thing has an intricate, underground root system which links back to the original behavior and this behavior is harder to eradicate than originally thought.

In these early stages of detaching from self, one needs constant reassurance that he or she is on the right path. In many ways, a young one on this path is like a child who needs comfort and reassurance from the parent. This is why honest leadership, in service to the individual, and who possesses with unselfish focus on the individual’s forward progression is necessary. This leader could then also be seen as a teacher who offers guidance and encouragement. The child needs the parent’s comfort. In the early stages, if an individual lacks a parent for comfort or a teacher to seek guidance from, then it is appropriate for the individual to look to God or a source for this very necessary reassurance. This is not to decide whether or not a source exists, it is to say the external seeking is not harmful when done only under these conditions. Under these conditions one is not giving up his or her personal power. The woman described above cannot attest to life in the other four stages because she has not experienced it. She does give constant thought, however, as to the processes. She will need to cease chatter (stage three), live unselfishly and practice unconditional love (stage 4), achieve honest livelihood (stage 5), and attack the rhizome addiction (stage 6).

A Story:

Bri is a young woman embarking on this path. She actively works on trying to follow Buddha’s path. Following stage one she identified many things she needs to change. She is more or less in stage two, working on having complete acceptance without resentment. She realizes that these stages are not distinct and separate; rather, she works on each stage as it comes up. She accepts this and is trying to keep the faith that she is making forward progress; this is particularly hard when a habit or mannerism which she thought was gone springs back up. She works to maintain a vision of her goal by constantly reminding herself of her destination, determination, and dedication.


Why is she doing it? What is the purpose? It is for the benefit of her daughter and future generations. Primarily, she does not want her daughter to have to suffer in life. The daughter will encounter various pitfalls and pain. If she has the tools to successfully navigate and evade these challenges, then she will go much further than Bri who has to figure it out. Bri does not have a teacher and, therefore, wants to be the teacher she never had. Bri knows that if her daughter is thusly equipped then she can change the world.

Wisdom directs that the world’s problems can only be solved with a fresh, untainted approach; the approach of a pure, untainted being; in other words a child. Bri often faces discouragement at such a monumental task. She particularly faces discouragement because she is aware of her many faults and inadequacies and therefore feels she is inadvertently tainting her daughter because of her lack of quick progression and clinging to the old habits of a deluded self. In other words, she feels as if she is not making enough progress in a quick enough manor. Further wisdom and understanding is necessary for her to realize that the daughter’s unique witnessing of the transformation of her mother is actually arming her for an even greater perspective than Bri could have otherwise hoped for.

Authentic education for her children is vitally important, even though Bri cannot fathom why in her limited human perspective. She just needs to maintain the faith that she must continue this path to authenticity so her children will be able to do greater things than she, herself, is capable of. This will be the case because they were never encumbered by the burdens of clinging to illogical ideologies. Bri knows that she is giving her children the gift to heal the world and more with their new found potential.
References

Foundation for Critical Thinking. (2010). Retrieved from http://www.criticalthinking.org/starting/index.cfm.

Haselhurst, G. & Howie, K. (2010). Ancient Eastern philosophy: on the ancient wisdom of Buddhism, Hinduism, Taoism & Confucianism. Retrieved from http://www.spaceandmotion.com/buddhism-hinduism-taoism-confucianism.htm.

Moore, B. N. & Bruder, K. (2008). Philosophy: The power of ideas (7th ed.). Boston: McGraw-Hill.

Morris, C. G., & Maisto, A. A. (2002). Psychology: An introduction (12th ed.). Upper Saddle River, NJ: Prentice Hall.

Nevid, J. S. & Rathus, S. A. (2005). Psychology and the challenges of life: Adjustment in the new millennium (9th ed.). Hoboken, NJ: Wiley.

Osborne, M. J. (2002). Introduction to Game Theory (Draft Chapter). Nash Equilibrium Theory. Retrieved from http://www.economics.utoronto.ca/osborne/igt/nash.pdf.

Fear, Ignorance,and Bigotry

Fear is an acronym for False Evidence Appearing Real, meaning the key to overcoming fear is through knowledge acquisition. The Bible in Hosea 4:6, Basic English translation, states “Destruction has overtaken my people because they have no knowledge.” Ignorance (Nevid and Rathus, 2005) is where many fears come from. Many fears are irrational because they only take into account a small portion of the reality of the situation. Many fears can be dispelled by further investigation and intent on understanding the whole picture. Fears, ignorance, or irrational behaviors can also stem from one’s beliefs and expectations that may not be in line with his or her true potential (Nevid & Rathus, 2005). To eliminate fear, one must take cognizance of their thought process and learn to eliminate illogical thought by becoming a critical thinker.

Our behaviors, thoughts, and actions are not isolated to one corner of life; rather they spill into other areas, defining the person. On that note, illogical thinking affects all areas of life. There is a saying “how you do anything is how you do everything” that accurately describes this phenomenon. It is the same for me, and I have carried this wisdom with me and applied it to all my personal growth. I realized that bigotry is not isolated to mere semantics of race; rather, it is a lens through which we do everything in our life. Recently, I realized I possessed a source of bigotry that radiated sickly tendrils into other areas of my life. I realized that tendrils of bias existed in places I did not expect, including some I would have never thought were related to racism or bigotry. In other words, this bigotry, once identified, helped me to unlock other sources of hidden bigotry and false ideologies. I use it to flush out ill conceived notions or phobias based on little or no concrete evidence. This can only be done through thorough self-examination and no-mercy self-questioning.

The realization was simple enough; I am a spider bigot. I don’t care what the spider is doing or what type it is, as far as I am concerned, all are guilty by association and deserve to die. I have realized that this bigotry, or arachnophobia as the fear of spiders is called, is unfounded and based on fear. Fears and illogical patterns of thinking are usually passed along from parents to children. When children naturally play, there is no distinction between race, color, height, weight, or any other defining characteristics. It is the prejudices we instill in our children that give them cognizance of these differences. We pass along our beliefs, actions, and fears and our children adopt these as normal patterns of behavior; they do not question it because the adult does it therefore it must be normal (Nevid & Rathus, 2005). I realized that my phobia was unnatural: something I observed in and copied from my mom. Through critical thinking I also realized that my fear would actually cause me more harm than good.

With this bigoted attitude toward spiders I had no knowledge of which ones were harmful or not. I had no knowledge of their benefits or indirect harms which could be incurred as a result of killing them. Basically my fear was keeping me from entering into a relationship with spiders that might be mutually beneficial. Or, at the very least, this relationship could provide a position where I could tolerate their inevitable presence. Through this fear I was closing myself off to untold life experiences, experience that may enrich my life or impart important knowledge upon me. I also became aware of what ramification my actions had when my daughter began displaying the same tendencies. Thus, I was not only hurting myself, but her as well. When she copied my unnatural fear, she lost the opportunity to become an explorer of the world; a legacy every child deserves.

The Society for Critical Thinking, a group dedicated to eradicating illogical thought, discusses that all problems in our society stem from fractures in our thinking. They say, “Everyone thinks; it is our nature to do so. But much of our thinking, left to itself, is biased, distorted, partial, uninformed or down-right prejudiced. Yet the quality of our life and that of what we produce, make, or build depends precisely on the quality of our thought. Shoddy thinking is costly, both in money and in quality of life.” The key, they say, to solving the world’s problems requires filling in the gaps, or fixing these fractures, but “excellence in thought, however, must be systematically cultivated.” (2010, Critical Thinking: Where to Begin: Why Critical Thinking?)
The Bible speaks of this path from destruction to rebuilding. Racial/bigoted/illogical division is described in Matthew 10:35-36, "a man [will be turned] against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law a man's enemies will be the members of his own household.” Hosea 4:6 discusses that people die from a lack of knowledge. Statements of hope, change, and healing occur throughout the Bible including Leviticus 26:6 “I will grant peace in the land, and you will lie down and no one will make you afraid. I will remove savage beasts from the land, and the sword will not pass through your country.” I learned long ago, however, that it is not realistic to sit around and wait for something to happen. God will not just do the work, it requires people to make a commitment to change.

God placed in my possession a very special girl who, like any child, has the chance to change the world. She cannot change the world, however, if she is encumbered by faulty thinking. That said, she will be thus encumbered if I do not change my ways. I believe it is my duty to eradicate from my being all remnants of bias, bigotry, racism and other forms of illogical thought. It is the job of the parent to prepare their child for the future. I believe this does not refer to making my children robots that just follows society’s mandates. Rather I see a suggestion to allow my children to create minds of their own; to make the changes in the prescribed forms of thinking that will affect changes on a broader scale of human ignorance.

References

Foundation for Critical Thinking. (2009). Retrieved from
http://www.criticalthinking.org/starting/index.cfm.

Nevid, J. S. & Rathus, S. A. (2005). Psychology and the challenges of life: Adjustment in the new millennium (9th ed.). Hoboken, NJ: Wiley.

The Importance of Critical Thinking for Unparalleled Knowledge Acquisition: Where Modern Education Fails

When a couple finds they are expecting, a mixture of exuberance and concerns of adequacy develop. In response to these feelings and to give their child the best start in life, the parents do what they’re told to do: buy all the latest gear and educational material, and send their child off to daycare or school to ensure proper socialization and education. From conception to birth and through childhood, parents seek the advice of, and relegate important decisions to, the authorities because they know how to give a child the best start or advantages in life. What parents do not realize is this course of action will not make their child a smarter, more creative problem solver; rather it will relegate their child to the hands of mediocrity. How could this be? Gwen Dewar, PhD, (2010) in discussing modern education says that, “we often [inadvertently] train our kids to think in illogical and fallacious ways” that promotes “conformist thinking.” The lack of critical thinking in education affects problem-solving skills, knowledge application, self- efficacy, and creates a failure to reach cognitive potential and mastery.

The word “educational” has become a catch phrase in the current marketplace. Products across the board are jumping on the “educational” bandwagon and touting the benefits of early cognitive assistance. Toy aisles inundate a person with toys which possess catch phrases detailing a plethora of educational benefits. Experts tout that classical or instrumental music has benefits toward assisting in concentration and making one smarter. Education experts pander curriculum adjunct or advancing material, like flash cards or workbooks, to entice worried parents that their children need more assistance to succeed. Scientists fortify some infant formulas, and other foods, with chemicals like docosahexaenoic acid (DHA) and arachidonic acid (ARA), which naturally occur in breast milk, for alleged brain development and cognitive advances.

This is just a sampling of the push for early education, but it is enough to see the sheer degree to which “educational” has invaded the marketplace. Does this entire educational array have true benefits or is it just marketing hype? Why is all this pushed; is it a portender of a deeper problem? What is this deeper problem? Why does it exist? And what can be done?
Christine Woodrow and Frances Press, each university professors, collaborated on a paper called Positioning the Child in the Policy/Politics of Early Childhood. The purpose of the paper was to identify how education and childcare in Australia have become for profit businesses that have deviated far from the turn of the century philanthropic ideals. “At the turn of the 21st century [people] have been witness to an acceleration of privatization and commercialism in many aspects of everyday life” (2007, p. 315). They further discussed “that values such as trust, respect, good will, sincerity and fairness…are likely to be transformed [into] supplier-consumer relationships built upon profit motives” (Woodrow & Press, 2007, p. 318), where the bottom line and responsibility to the shareholder profits take precedence over public welfare and accountability. Advertising peddles daycare and education as providing the child an ideal childhood. This is an example of experts suggesting that they can rear a child better than the parent at home (Woodrow & Press, 2007).

The collaborative paper titled, The Gift Paradigm in Early Childhood Education, by Genevive Vaughan and Elia Estola, another pair of university teachers, explores a similar problem in childcare. The pair discussed that two different motivations, or paradigms, exist for conducting commerce. The first paradigm, called the gift paradigm, is most often observed in the mother who gives the child what he or she needs without expectation for recompense. The second paradigm, called the exchange paradigm, occurs when one expects payment or compensation for a performed service. The exchange paradigm currently dominates commerce even of such “need satisfying good[s]” (2007, p. 246) as water, food, education, and other necessities that nature freely provides. Education must therefore operate like a business: with a focus on profit, cost efficiency, and remaining competitive. They further discussed that offering education and childcare for exchange robs the innocence of the child; removing his or her abilities to achieve self-efficacy, become self-directed, and develop values (Vaughan & Estola, 2007).

These teachers all agree that the ideal environment for childcare and education would mimic the early 20th century models like Maria Montessori’s Montessori Method. The Montessori Method placed the child in an environment that encouraged self-actualization, self-control, and self-mastery. This was achieved through the exploration of various activities and materials designed to develop fine motor skills and sensory acuity. Woodrow and Press labeled this self-mastery as the ideal environment in which to encourage the development of citizenship to encourage the development of true democracy, something our world is in dire need of (Vaughan & Estola, 2007, & Woodrow & Press, 2007).

The Foundation for Critical Thinking also addresses the declination of education and the roll of an educated society. The Foundation, consisting of five highly educated members, identifies a concept called critical thinking as the cornerstone to a meaningful education. A meaningful education allows the child to become a proactive citizen who can solve society’s problems (2009). The Foundation’s definition states that critical thinking is:

“…[ An] intellectually disciplined process of actively and skillfully conceptualizing, applying, analyzing, synthesizing, and/or evaluating information gathered from, or generated by, observation, experience, reflection, reasoning, or communication, as a guide to belief and action. In its exemplary form, it is based on universal intellectual values that transcend subject matter divisions: clarity, accuracy, precision, consistency, relevance, sound evidence, good reasons, depth, breadth, and fairness (Foundation for Critical Thinking, 2009, Defining Critical Thinking).”

The Foundation delineates that a critically thinking society would lead to the preservation of the species by solving the major and minor problems of the world, including: injustice, bias, criminal behavior, deception, manipulation, hypocrisy, righteousness, pain, suffering, hunger, homelessness, and even environmental, geological, and climatic concerns. “Critical societies can and will emerge only to the extent that human thinking becomes a primary interest… [which is] routinely… discussed and critiqued in every… [home, classroom, workplace, etc.]” In addition people must take these problems seriously and work together to solve those problems with logic and clarity (2009, Critical Thinking, The Educated Mind…).

Is it not the responsibility of the school to prepare students to solve problems? The push-pull ethical battle previously detailed carries heavy consequences that prevent, or fail to assist, the student in achieving his or her potential. The Foundation for Critical Thinking presents ideas from Albert Einstein’s 1954 book Ideas and Opinions, for consideration. Einstein discussed that the modality of education needs to encourage the young person to develop skills for “independent thinking,” or critical thinking, rather than trying to push the student to obtain “special knowledge.” He also cautioned that the lack of critical thinking in education leads the student to become a good factory worker and “kill[s] the spirit of which all cultural life depends” (2009, Critical Thinking, The Educated Mind…). In other words, this factory worker will not be able to solve society’s problems.

So what exactly does the school system do wrong? An education that is conducive to teaching critical thinking would require a complete overhaul of the current educational system. Norman Munn from Vanderbilt University in Tennessee in evaluating education said that, “In order to approximate complete… learning in children, one must take cognizance of conditioning, acquisition of motor skill, memorizing and related mnemonic functions, and problem solving” (1946, p.370). Most education centers upon rote memorization and picking only one answer; excluding discussion of alternative possibilities. For example, a math textbook may ask the student to find the correct box for a series of different sized objects. The problem exists when the student is told there is only one correct answer with complete disregard for alternatives or creative thinking. It says a small object should go into a small box, but the critical thinker would also recognize that the small object could also go into the medium and large size boxes as well. Also stuffing, folding, disassembling, or otherwise manipulating a large object would make it fit into a small to medium box (Dewar, 2010).

With learning disorders and behavior problems seeming to be on the rise in schools, one must consider if there is a casual connection between such disordered behavior and the lack of meaningful education. Donald Ford and Hugh Urban, of the Division of Counseling at Pennsylvania State University, state that ineffective patterns of behavior, or those that cause distraction of fellow students, can find cause in inappropriate conditions for learning as well as how the teacher presents him or herself to the child (1963). “Teachers must ask themselves what their words and actions are teaching [the] children” (Schidler, 2009, p. 1). Language acquisition is natural and mimics the pattern of the role models (Kimble, 1981). Teachers will often present materials from deeply flawed and bias perspectives because: they usually do not know how to reason; do not know how to recognize proper reasoning; and they usually just pass on what they were told (Foundation for Critical Thinking, 2009). This lack of effective communication is absorbed by the student as normal methodology for communication. The lack of critical thinking in learning will “lead to lowered motivation and diminished cognitive ability” for the child (Kimble, 1981, p.32).

Researchers Sverker Silkstrum, Department of Cognitive Science of Lund University, and Goran Solderland, Department of Psychology of Stockholm University, (2007) confirmed this when they discovered that the type of learning environment will have a significant impact on the degree to which Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD), a disordered behavior, will present itself. They found that a more stimulating environment will produce better results for cognitive functioning and problem-solving. In other words, a stimulating environment would allow the child to overcome the handicap of ADHD to position him or her to excel academically. On the converse, stimuli-impoverished environments will cause a decline in knowledge retention and learning. Silkstrum and Solderland also attributed student distracters as contributing to a stimuli-impoverished environment; if the student cannot concentrate then he or she cannot learn, regardless of the environment. This research, when paired with the research of Mayer (1989) who defined the line between meaningful and unproductive learning, contributes to a complete picture of a stimulating environment.

Meaningful education, as defined by University of California Professor Richard Mayer, means that the student can take what he or she is taught and applies the subject material to new situations; in other words, expand their knowledge. Mayer conducted a study to measure learning: the student’s retention was tested by offering similar problems to solve and then by testing application of that knowledge to new situations. If the student failed at both tests, then “no learning” occurred. If the student did well on the retention test but poorly on the application test, then the learning was “non-meaningful”. Finally, if the student did well on both, then “meaningful learning” occurred. The list below, adapted from Mayer, provides a quick summary of the conclusions.


Learning Outcome/Retention Performance/ Transfer Performance
No Learning/Poor/Poor
Non-Meaningful Learning/Good/Poor
Meaningful Learning/Good/Good


Education in general is not meaningful because it relies on rote memorization and retention, not on application. Case in point, standardized tests. According to The Foundation for Critical Thinking (2009), Standardized Tests and modern education ask a child to solve problems in ways that run counter to critical thinking’s approach to solving problems. The results are different also: standardized tests promote conformity and lead to unproductive learning, while critical thinking promotes creativity and meaningful learning.

The next question one may ask is what would a curriculum that teaches critical thinking look like? Mayer (1989) suggests that the discombobulated method of teaching thinking is ineffective. Thinking should be taught as integrated within the various subjects; not off by itself once the student reaches college. He makes a point that well documented research, as well as a whole hearted, committed partnership between the educators and those researchers of human cognition must precede any change to the academic profile. This partnership would be necessary to understand, “the conditions that allow the transfer of problem-solving skills and challenge educators to develop a curriculum that has a place for thinking” (Mayer, 1989, p. 162). The comparison below is adapted from Mayer’s paper and delineates how a curriculum may look.


Issue: Critical Thinking Education vs Traditional School System

What to Teach: Thinking should be learned by the pieces it represents in various subjects; vs Thinking is to be isolated from other material.

How to Teach: Student's need process to model where the solution is the reward; vs Correct answers are rewarded; wrong answers are punished. The student does not understand why.

Where to Teach: Each subject should include critical thinking skills. These skills, once mastered, can be carried over to new areas and learned in different ways; vs Thinking is to be taught in a course by itself; usually at the college level.


There are also other approaches to teaching critical thinking skills. Oftentimes in communication metaphors are used for clarification or to offer a frame of reference to bring communication to a common ground. Metaphors allow a person to look at something differently, or as Vaughan and Estola, put it, “Metaphors in education are tools for thinking; they are bridges between the known and the unknown; they facilitate communication and focus the gaze…” (2007, p. 248).

In additon, art, while not typically considered to be a teaching medium, may also help to facilitate the transition to critical thinking instruction. The creative process allows the student to bring the creative vision to life by viewing materials from multiple perspectives, multiple outcomes, and different paths of progression. This also occurs in the creative exploration of materials not normally thought of as art materials; in other words, recycling materials, like milk cartons, into something new, allows something to be seen from a new perspective. Seeing ideas or objects from different perspectives is the cornerstone of creative thinking (Tarr, 2008). Still another approach, while not teaching critical thinking, eliminates the major problem in education that leads to conformist thinking. Vaughan and Estola stress that the gift paradigm needs to be brought back into focus while phasing out the exchange paradigm from education. This movement, they say, “will not only allow children to develop better values in their individual lives but will help to validate those values in the society at large so that choices and policies can become more consciously life-affirming” (2007, p. 250).

Teachers who express the concern that education is not what it should be, argue that the their focus should not be on paperwork, busy work, or other things that distract from them giving their complete attention to the child. The public often eschews these teachers, labeling them as “old-fashioned” (Vaughan & Estola, 2007). Is it time this opinion is re-evaluated? Is the opinion “old-fashioned” or exactly what it needs to be?

Society is at a critical time, as decisions have to be made to solve problems that threaten existence. Without critical thinking, problems will become rampant and unsolvable, society will fail, and humanity will eventually become extinguished. Solving these problems will require teaching the children to solve problems critically and creatively. To do that, though, students need to have meaningful education. This may seem like a logical request; however, the road to implementation is long.

The problems our educational system faces are looming and, therefore, not easy to solve. The school system, being a business, does not care about the well being of the student if that well being interferes with profit. Critical thinking is not taught because it would be too time-consuming and expensive to overhaul the entire system. Besides, this overhaul would interfere with the primary goal: to create workers not thinkers. Identification of the problem is the first step. The next step is for parents to realize that the “authorities” do not know best. Parent’s need to answer the question of whether to continue to allow the child to be handicapped or give him or her the opportunity to make the world a better place? The answer to that question will determine the degree to which the school system will be forced to change.
 

References

Dewar, Gwen PhD. (2010). Retrieved from
http://www.parentingscience.com/critical-thinking-in-children.html.

Ford, D., & Urban, H. (1963). The Development of Disordered Behavior. Systems of
psychotherapy: A comparative study (pp. 636-661). John Wiley & Sons Inc. doi:10.1037/10782-017.

Einstein, A. (1954). Ideas and Opinions. Crown Trade Paperbacks. New York, NY.
Foundation for Critical Thinking. (2009). Retrieved from
http://www.criticalthinking.org/starting/index.cfm.

Kimble, G. (1981). Biological and cognitive constraints on learning. The G. Stanley Hall lecture
series, Vol.1 (pp. 11-60). American Psychological Association. doi:10.1037/10086-001.

Mayer, R. (1989). Teaching for thinking: Research on the teachability of thinking skills. The G.
Stanley Hall lecture series, Vol. 9 (pp. 139-164). American Psychological Association. doi:10.1037/10090-005.

Munn, N. (1946). Learning in children. Manual of child psychology (pp. 370-449). John Wiley &
Sons Inc. doi:10.1037/10756-008.

Shidler, L. (2009). Teaching Children What We Want Them to Learn. Young Children, 64(5),
88-91. Retrieved from Education Research Complete database.

Tarr, P. (2008). New Visions: Art for Early Childhood. Art Education, 61(4), 19-24. Retrieved
from Education Research Complete database.

Vaughan, G., & Estola, E. (2007). The Gift Paradigm in Early Childhood Education. Educational
Philosophy & Theory, 39(3), 246-263. doi:10.1111/j.1469-5812.2007.00326.x.

Woodrow, C., & Press, F. (2007). (Re)Positioning the Child in the Policy/Politics of Early
Childhood. Educational Philosophy & Theory, 39(3), 312-325. doi:10.1111/j.1469-5812.2007.00328.x.

Joining Hands with Our Children: Listening to Their Voice

I decided to post some of my school work that I am most proud of. These works express my views concisely and integrate together the various tangents of my potential.

Today society faces many problems which threaten to destroy or severely damage its very existence. People try to solve these dilemmas through legislation, protest, violence or complete disregard; solutions which do not solve the issues but magnify them. The late Albert Einstein (1879-1855) said “the significant problems we have cannot be solved at the same level of thinking with which we created them.” Society can only solve these massive problems by shifting their paradigm to try something different. If the children are to inherit a better world, they must be the solution; parents have to facilitate that leadership by properly equipping the children to create effective solutions.

Dr. Martin Luther King (1963), in his famous speech I Have a Dream, stated this solution best when he said, “We must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force.” In his speech, his words transcend beyond freedom for the oppressed; to be a solution for many of the massive problems society faces. Society’s problems are all birthed of ego; no one wants to admit culpability, work together to solve them, or look at the peaceful approach. The peaceful approach rests in the children, but requires the adult to look inward: to admit they are part of the problem; to champion change; and to question their view the child.

The adult to child relationship is one of dominance to submission. The child is expected to be subservient to the adult, seen as a burden, and barely tolerated. The historical adage, “children should be seen and not heard”, still exists today. The children are completely dependent on those in charge. In blatant disregard for the humanity of the child, parents or caregivers often tout, “my house, my rules, my way, or the highway”; the child is given no voice. Any attempt by the child at vocal expression is often met with the violence of suppression; or allowed only within the confines of complete mockery. This diminishes the child to frustration and lack of spiritual growth which relegates the child’s greatness into the hands of mediocrity. Society’s big problems cannot be solved when the child, enshrouded by mediocrity, reaches adulthood; these problems persist, get worse and the cycle becomes perpetual.

The adult facilitates the growth of the child through the admission of errant beliefs and takes those steps necessary to correct the damage. Author Alfie Kohn’s book Unconditional Parenting, addresses this when he says, “what do children need” and “… we need to work with them rather than doing to them, in order to reach goals”. He explains when parents question their views of child rearing, they give children the tools to become role models of self responsibility and reliability; great and powerful harbingers of change (Kohn,N.D.).

In society, there is a commonality of people working together to achieve a goal; it is even recognized as necessary for survival. Successful business leaders recognize and tap hidden sources of talent. Any person is given the opportunity to prove self-worth despite age, race, gender, creed or religion; this person is not judged by external characteristics but “by the content of their heart” (King, 1963). Marriages require both people to contribute to building a successful foundation; otherwise the marriage will end in divorce. It has been said that when people unite in partnership, their abilities are magnified; yet the most important partnership (parent to child) is ignored based on prejudice ego. In the military, the private must have all semblance of the questioning spirit crushed and taught to dutifully comply with orders; this is a similar plight of the child.

To solve the current problems of society future innovation and creativity are paramount. Different results cannot be achieved if the problems are approached using the same methods. A fresh perspective is necessary; the children possess this fresh perspective. Parent’s natural inclination is to stymie the growth and expression of the child in the name of authoritarianism. To manifest the true potential of the child, caregivers have the responsibility to equip the child with the tools needed to solve these problems. The adult must question his or her view of the child as incompetent and incapable; choosing instead to partner with the child in laying the foundation to create this harbinger of change.

References
King, M.L. (1963) I have a dream. Retrieved from http://www.mlkonline.net/dream.html on September 20, 2009.
Kohn, A. (N.D.) Retrieved from http://www.alfiekohn.org/index.php on September 20, 2009.

Too Much Thinking

I live in my head. It is all about analysis. I am constantly trying to figure out what to do next, when I should do something, if I should do something, and how to just let go. You cannot think about letting go because if you do then you never will. You just have to let go.

I had a dream many years ago that I was driving in a log, Flinstone-like car...powered by my own efforts. There was an angle in the car with me. We were having a good conversation; I was finding out all kinds of great information and answers to my questions. I was not paying attention to the road, just the angle...as if we were sitting comfortably across from each other on the front porch in rocking chairs, sipping lemonaid. Then I suddenly became aware of a rather large tree that my car was on a collision course for. I forgot about the conversation and turned my attention to my driving. I hit the tree, totaled my log car, and had to walk home. My angle disappeared...I was alone. As I pondered what happened and wished my angel would come back I heard a voice, "you should have just continued with our conversation. The crash only happened because you felt you needed to control the car to avert disaster. Had you continued our conversation, then everything would have been ok."

The Truth of Truths: How Two People Can Both be Correct

"I'm right and you are wrong" is the common argument from the impoverished to the well-off, from the dumb to the well-educated, from the simple to the chaotic. We are polarized and egotistical. We stick to our convictions no matter evidence to the contrary. We ask why someone cannot see the solution that is as obvious as the nose on their face. The reason is because we see things from one perspective and they see it from another. Different perspectives change the solution set or possible answers that make it though our filters. Our schemas determine our filters, our filters determine what information gets through, and this information determines our solution set. We believe because this is our solution set that this is everyone's solution set. Because this is all we can see, we believe this is all that exists.

Is it possible for two people to be right about the same thing and yet say different things? The accepted answer is no, only one solution can exist to the problem. But is this true? John Nash, Nobel prize winner for his re-work on Game Theory purposed the Theory of Equilibrium. The Theory of Equilibrium states that the traditional winer-looser mentality is inefficient. He purposed that the best outcome in a game is for both to win. What does this have to do with two people being right about the same thing? Well winning for both would mean that they both must be correct.

Transactional Analysis by psychiatrist Eric Berne M.D. suggests that all life is a series of games, or transactions between people. All day, everyday, in every interaction there is a transaction of information taking place. These transactions follow a set pattern and are more or less programed in early childhood before language develops. These transactional patters are the same in all situations and will follow patterns of winner/looser unless the individual chooses to change their programing. How do you have a win-win?

The answer is to realize that you are both right. Each person has their own solution set to the problem at hand. Often they are right about the outcome from their perspective. But different solutions present different outcomes. Different perspectives creates different truths. Finding a solution means that each listens to what the other is saying and tries to understand things from the other's perspective. Walk a mile in the other's shoes is not just a cliche; it is necessary for finding a win-win solution. A win-win solution means the two collaborate on their information, looking at things from both perspectives, and coming to a common consensus about the appropriate course of action.

A story about finding the win-win.

Alison is 12 year old girl is developmentally delayed with violent behaviour issues. Her grandmother, Abigale, took over rearing Alison 6 years ago and has managed to help her control her self enough to stay in school; but all was not peachy in the home front. Frequent battles of wills ensued particularly as the girl's actions were often destructive. Abigale and her daughter lamented that Alison would never be able to live on her own. They had all kinds of labels to describe Alison's actions as destructive, unkind, uncooperative, and without purpose.

Alison had another aunt named Camron who viewed the girl in a different light. She saw glimmers of intelligence trying to bubble to the surface as Alison fought to carve out an identity for herself. She saw how Alison's attempts to find an identity were destructive, but she viewed them calls of pain and desperation. She knew the girl, if given the appropriate environment, would flourish and her hidden genius would come out. Camron wanted to pull the girl out of public school and home school her. She did not believe in Abigale's labels for the girl; she felt these labels caused the problem. She also believed that some day the girl would be able to not only live on her own but would function as a normal, productive adult, pursuing her dreams. Most of all this aunt believed the girl's identity needed encouragement and she needed to learn conflict resolution and critical thinking. She needed to stop reacting to and instead acting on a situation.

Camron listened to all of Abigale and her daughter's reasons for what they felt Alison needed. She tried to cater her arguments to them and sway them to her side with this information. Through many through such argument presentations about why Alison needed homeschooling, Camron finally convinced Abigale to allow the girl to home school. But this wasn't a victory because it was conditional. When the time came for signing the intent to home school the school district argued that the girl needed to have public education. The aunt did not agree and was quite perturbed. Most of all she felt her opportunity to help the girl was waning.

Camron had to step back and ask what was best for Alison. Camron was tired of all the conflict and, tired of trying to change the girl, and tired of arguing her case for why the girl should home school instead of attending public school. Camron realized that although she did not get what she thought was best for Alison, the girl was getting what was best. Abigale and her daughter listened to all Camron's reasons for not wanting the girl to go back to public school and they used this to firmly establish with the school district how the girl's education should proceed, the rules that needed to be enforced, and what they expected so the girl would not fall through the cracks. They all came together to create something that would be best for Alison and this allowed them see what the girl really needed and to become her advocate.

Trusting the Process

I have a problem with over-analyzation, analysis paralysis, or just plain living in my head. My husband came up with a concept several years ago that I have given much thought to. He called it the Goal in Reverse. From my understanding it is like a goal but instead of having an idea of where you want to go and meticulously choosing the best path to get there, you do not know where you are going. He formed the concept after he was doing a bunch of activities that he could not find a connection between yet he had the idea they were connected. As time progressed he began to see the connections and realized they were leading him to something he could have never fathomed in a goal. Basically, the concept is going with the flow of events and trusting there is a connection. You may have a faint idea of where you are going, but you cannot figure out how to get there. Then you realize you are doing all these things that seem to be totally unconnected to what you want. Then there comes a day where you see the connections and you realize in these activities you perfected your abilities far beyond what you would have originally been able to do if you planned it yourself.

Now trusting the process means you remove yourself from analyzing the outcome and you allow things to manifest as they should in all appropriateness. A time came in thinking about the goal in reverse that I was getting a bit cocky. I was starting to see the connections in things, so I figured this gave me a sort of precognition to analyse future events based on present activities. One day, shortly before I moved from Las Vegas, I suddenly had the idea that my mission was to come to Washington State and help my niece out of her behavioural troubles. This issue with my niece is a heated one, that has gone on for quite some time; it is part of the reason I wanted to move to Las Vegas in the first place. I suddenly had the idea that I wanted to home school her, take over her discipline, and one day be allowed to adopt her as my own daughter. I thought my mother-in-law was finally at her wits end and would allow me to just take over.

Once I got here and began "working" with her, my delusions of grandeur and ideas of everything I wanted to do in this process got larger and larger. I thought I was reading the signs correctly; I thought my intuition in all things was becoming heightened. Life has a way of constantly showing you your place and keeping you in line. Arrogance can be our worst enemy because it shuts us off from other solutions. I found myself hitting wall after wall and getting more and more frustrated; I fancied that I should have never left Vegas, wondered why I wanted to adopt her in the first place, and found her presence more and more intolerable. I was loosing faith in the process, loosing faith in my intuition, and loosing faith in God. Was God just playing with me? Why did I experience such strong emotions about helping her when I couldn't even stand her? Every time I would experience some sort of forward movement, then everything would fall back. How could I do the things I saw if all this was failing so much?

Our interpretations of visions are not necessarily true. Sometimes the things we do and the actions we take seem like they are meant for a particular outcome. So when things happen that seem contradictory to where we "think" we are going it doesn't make sense. Patterns do exist we just have to be patient and wait for them to manifest. I also realize that if something keeps causing conflict then you need to take a step back and see if you are doing something wrong. The conflict I was experience is because I was trying to do things the way I thought they should be and not trusting the process to manifest something far beyond my mortal imagination. I have come to realize that my role here is not to remove my niece from an unproductive and conflict ridden situation; it is to help us all to work together to create the best solution for my niece to succeed. Without us all working together, she does not have a chance. Separate we are only so much, combined we are an impenetrable force. The power of water gently caressing the shore line manipulates it and sculpts a more beautiful and lasing change than the largest blast of dynamite. And water is many molecules working together.

My Virtual Pen

I have picked up my virtual pen so many times now, wrote a few words, and put it down, erasing what I wrote. I want to write, but my thoughts are so confused. Ideas clamber over each other as they vie for a chance in the spotlight. I have many ideas, but don't know where to start. I do not give any time to manifest; I am too structured. How do I just go with the flow? Where do I start? My ideas seem so discombobulated; how can I write about incomplete subjects? I am in the dark; I see a light far off, but it is too distant. I cannot see where I am; I can only guess but my senses do not give enough information. Or do they? Am I really listening to myself or the false facade of who I think I am? Am I listening to myself or merely trying to fill shells of ideas with what I think makes them complete? What is in the shells? Do they make a complete picture in and of themselves. I think I will commit to writing 10 minutes everyday; This will give my thoughts a chance to slowly empty. I will not put away my virtual pen. I will not erase my message. I will let my message come out and stop judging it as lacking or incomplete.

Recognize Someone for Who They Are

Our view of the world is jaded or colored by our understanding; in other words our view is not clear and unobstructed. One particular subcatagory I have problems in is seeing people for who they are, not who I would like them to be. This brings on blindness and bias that could be harmful to future progression or keep old wounds from healing.

A boss who cannot see the bad work ethic of the friend he or she was promoted over because the friendship blinds and creates denial.

A mother cannot see her child is rude and disrespectful because this is her "sweet, innocent baby". She is in denial.

An older sister sees her younger sister as a slacker and "needs to get her act together". Because the older sister is blinded by responsibility and raising a family, she fails to see the beautiful, free spirited, talented potential the younger sister possesses. The older sister just needs to back off long enough to let the younger sister spread her wings.

And the list could continue, but this is sufficient. What this boils down to is failing to see something for what it is. "If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck then it is a duck." We need to recognize our built in bias and circumnavigate it. The boss with the bias of friendship may need to separate priorities. The mother may need to separate reality from fantasy. The older sister may need to cease manipulation of the situation.

I will take this newly found nugget of wisdom and apply this to all my relationships both present and future. Who knows this could also help to heal past wounds or recognize and rectify character judgment mistakes that are dragging me down.

Destroying the Seed

Any one who has ever planted a seed knows how futile it is to get it to grow quicker than its own natural process. Another futile effort is trying to tell the seed exactly what specifications it needs to grow into.

For example, you plant a marigold seed and fantasize about how tall it will be, how many blossoms it will have, how many leaves it will have, the color of the blooms, etc.; in other words this Marigold seed will turn out to be exactly as you fantasized, down to the last detail. That is just silly. Sure you have the idea it will be a marigold plant, but you have no way of knowing exactly what it will look like.

Now lets take this a step further. Several days have passed since you planted the seed, however you have not seen a sprout yet. In your impatience you adopt the belief that you forgot to give it something or you did not give it enough of something. So you start throwing all your resources at it: extra water; various varieties of plant food; some plant medicines in case it has a disease; a sunnier location; etc. This process even continues once the plant sprouts - if the plant sprouts because all the extra attention may have killed it - to speed up growth and assuage impatience.

As the caretaker of a seed, you only have the basic responsibilities to provide this seed with optimal growing conditions: adequate water; adequate food; proper light; additional intervention if the plant becomes sick; and occasional pulling of weeds that would otherwise choke the seed. No amount of extra effort can coax this seed to grow faster than its predetermined life progression or contract. Sometimes extra effort may positively influence the outcome but it cannot speed up the growth. Other times extra effort boils over into extremes, like over watering, and kills the seed.

Every expectation in life is a seed. Everything that initiates change is a seed. Every atavistic irritation that will not get out of your thoughts is a seed. Seeds are planted all the time in our lives. Our actions determine if this seed will take root, grow, and thrive, or, if it will fade out to be counted among the casualties of war.

This begs the question, what are you doing with your seeds? Will they thrive and strive, or will they struggle and die?

Dogma is Subservient

Recently I was asked to define my beliefs and if my beliefs ever changed. I decided that I hold two beliefs to be infallible: "If I am not growing, then I am dying" and "I am a child of God." These beliefs are simple and un-muddled by dogma; they are the highest and most governing factors in all decisions. All other beliefs are secondary and subservient because they are limited by my current understanding and error-prone perception. An example of secondary beliefs would be any belief that tells me how to act in regard to my primary beliefs. These beliefs are dogma. Dogma is fine and has a place: to define our intra- and interpersonal interactions. Secondary beliefs can never be infallible because I am always growing; my perceptions are always changing with the influx of new information, and are, therefore, subject to re-evaluation. I view any changes in secondary belief to be enlightening, welcome, and invigorating paradigm shifts that open me further to the world of possibilities.

An Unexpected Outcome and a New Awakening

I recently wrote about a blessing in disguise I received, while working in a sales position. Prior to accepting this position I was plagued by doubts about wanting to be a stay at home mom, but terribly missing the outside world. In this position I realized what I really wanted out of life was not a job but to be a mom and to be with my child at home. Once I made that decision I never looked back: I never mourned my being at home and I never wished I was elsewhere.

It then became my obsession to completely question all tenants I held in regards to parenting. This helped me to start on a new path, a path that was more conducive to facilitating my child's growth. Basically this was a clearing process, a throwing out of garbage and cleaning house, so to speak. While cleaning house I encountered something that was stopping me from getting further, self doubt. Like a weed I kept pulling it out, but it kept coming back. I realized that the problem was not the weed but in my approach to ridding the weed. I constantly pulled out the top of the plant but the roots were still there. And from the roots it continued to spring anew, not thwarted by my hacking it. Thus started the journey about gaining self approval.

Today, with this journey commencing relatively recently, I had my first major break though.

For a long time I have had this fear that if something happened to my husband, I would be in trouble. I mean I am totally dependant on him to bring in money. Choosing to be a stay at home mom meant that I did not have any source of income. If something were to happen, I would have to get a job to pay our debts and bills. Having the job would mean I would have to put my daughter in daycare and later enroll her in public school. It all went against my reasons for being a stay at home mom and homeschooling my daughter.

Doubts about my independence lead to believing that, for my daughter's sake, I had to make the best use of every teachable moment. Something might happen in the future, but if it did, at least my daughter had a good solid foundation, I reasoned. I can't even begin to describe the sheer amount of pressure this put on me to do this parenting and homeschooling thing perfectly. I became so critical of my self that nothing was good enough. I was trying to force my daughter to learn, thus I was driving a wedge in between us. Wow, with all my good intentions in leaving my sales position to devote my self to my daughter, I was actually achieving the opposite. This outcome was not at all expected and quite contrary to the skittles and rainbow thoughts I had when I left.

So if this unexpected outcome stemmed from my dependence issues what could I do? Three events have happened recently that gave me the answer even before I knew the question. Only today did I put it this all together. Event One: I came across a book called Primal Mothering by Hygeia Halfmoon. This was a totally weird coincidence because this book had been misplaced in the children's book section in a thrift store. Of course it caught my attention, and for some reason, I had to get it, even though the back cover description did not seem interesting. Event Two: I encountered the concept of Unschooling, joined some forums and found this to feel totally correct and in line with what I wanted. Event Three: I enrolled in college with the intent to get my masters degree in Psychology.

For now, I want to focus on Event One and how that layed the foundation to understanding what was going on and what I needed to do.

Before I get to that, let me give a short synopsis of the book. Hygeia, through the course of three failed relationships, became a single mother to three children. In her first pregnancy she awoke to the ideas of what typically might be considered attachment parenting, a term she later revised to be Primal Mothering. Primal Mothering means attuning to that knowledge deep within ourselves that comes from our ancestors about the reality of, and our responsibility in, rearing children. Realizing that her intuitive knowledge about what was best for her new baby did not at all line up with her then current husband's ideas, she made the painful decision to put her daughter first and leave her husband. Being alone, she was now faced with the reality of how to support her self and her baby. She could not follow the traditional path of giving up the care of her baby to a babysitter while she got a job. If she were to do that it would go against her reasons for leaving her husband in the first place. She had to find a way to create financial influx while staying true to being with her daughter 24/7.

Hygia went back to school to work toward her doctorate, bringing her daughter with her. Unleashing her entrepreneurial spirit, she started selling home made baby slings. She became a vagabond, and in having no permanent home, evaluated how much money was really needed to live off of and what stuff was really necessary to have. Also during this time she received public assistance, something that she has received much abuse about from readers. However, when this assistance threatened to compromise the bond between her and her daughter, she gave up this much needed assistance. Life for Hygeia was not easy. This initial period of time was landmark to securing in her the undying devotion to her daughter and her two future children. Many road blocks were thrown up that threatened to derail her, but she stayed firm in her belief that she belonged with her children and no one could make her do otherwise.

I do not yet realize the complete implication these words will have for me. I know that it inspired me to believe that, no matter what happens, I will be fine so long as I put Celina-Lin first. If I succumb to societies morays about child rearing, then I have failed the person it matters to most, Celina-Lin. This idea of failure is not a burden, rather it is an inspiration. Deep inside of me lies my primal wisdom. Each step I take to be with Celina-Lin brings me more in line with the understanding and application of that wisdom.

Moments of Clarity Often Come in Disguise

I want to reflect on a moment of clarity I had recently. I took a sales job, thinking it should be easy enough, but failed miserably. That is to say I miserably failed to bring in money and actually paid quite a bit to stay and fail. We do not learn things through success, our greatest moments of progress occur in failure. We learn what not to do, what to do differently, and what really matters to us.

From this experience I learned that I would do things differently as far as selling to make it more ethical and a win win for everyone. I am still working on and exact method, but it got me to look for a different way, and that is what is important. I was talking to someone, the other day, about some ideas I had on a new direction to take the presentation. He said to me "what makes you so sure this will work, what if this doesn't work either, what will you do then?". I realized, in this moment, that irregardless of the outcome, the experience would be priceless. I would gain so much more from it than money. In fact my previous failure turned out to be extremely valuable.

While this insight was great, I had another unexpected benefit of this financial failure. It taught me what I really wanted in life. When I first started I brought my daughter with me to all office meetings, and office related work that I had to do. After some time of failing to even get any appointments, it was suggested to me that I leave Celina in the care of the my boss' daughter and nanny for a reasonable rate. I decided to give this a try. For about a month I took her to this babysitter while I put all my effort into making this succeed. I worked 10 hour days, put in 100 miles a day, spent tons on gas and eating out, spent money for babysitting, invested in any material I thought I would need, and in general tried to apply myself to everything I was told to do. Burn out was happening really quick. I became short with Celina and my husband, my house was a disaster, and the only time I got to see Celina was when we were asleep. I missed her so much. And to top it off, I was utterly failing to make any sales or have a steady stream of appointments. One day, it was strongly suggested to me, that I turn in all my equipment and leave the company. I was devastated, I had tried so hard, what was I doing wrong, why was I failing? I had done everything I was told, why was I failing?

Through a very long conversation with my husband, and much reflection, I finally figured out why, with all this effort, I had produced no monetary results. It took away from me in two areas. One I was being asked to perform certain aspects of selling and setting appointments which I found to go against my beliefs. I felt I was being dishonest and sleezy. This lead to realizing that I needed to find a new way of selling. The second thing I realized was that I wanted to be a stay at home mom, however someone else was with my daughter for the best part of her day, I barely saw her. This was wrong, how was I going to be able to homeshool if I was never home? How could I be a stay at home mom if I was never home. This went against what I thought motherhood should be, and was asking me to be a completely different person than I am.

Once I left, I realized that I wanted to be at home. So now my days could be spent in making this a good home, not lamenting on all that I was missing by not having a job. This was in September of 2008. Since then I have completely transformed my home into an environment that is conducive for Celina's learning. I am making great headway in organizing my home, getting rid of clutter, and crating more useful spaces. I have become focused on what I want, create what I want, and realize what is really important to me, my daughter. I can now look to the future with clarity and certainty that I am on the right path. I am even making great strides in the other things I want to do like taking control of my health and learning about natural living. I now want to go back to school and I know what I want to study. Most of all I realize my role in Celina's development, and the importance of my presence.

The Search for Love

Life is about balance. The more you are balanced the more success and happiness you have. You simply cannot have happiness if your life is in constant contrast. Life is dance in which everything is perfectly balanced in love. Even that which seems delicate is, in fact, a solid surface upon which to tread. When everything is perfectly balanced in love, the impossible is possible. Life should be full of beauty, grace, happiness, joy and the constant potential to grow. To live life this way is to be in harmony with the intentions of God. Life is God. God is creation. Creation is love. Love is balance. Balance is Fulfillment. Life is the fulfillment of purpose and direction. Therefore life is love. And Love is God. Everything goes around in an eternal dance, each with its own part, but still part of the whole.

Since the Beginning, man has worked to get what he wanted. His success could only ever be finite, never complete or whole. The reason is that man viewed himself as separate from God, therefore he could never truly feel love, and so could never find fulfillment. Man alone cannot ever hope to achieve true greatness, cannot hope to live up to all the potential he was created with. Separation from God within is the ultimate in predetermining failure. In separation from self, one never finds true happiness or meaning in life and is always looking for something else to full that void.

The void constantly haunts me, therefore I am always seeking to fill it. I am never happy, no matter who is around me. I constantly feel alone, scared and doubtful. I want love, companionship and togetherness, but I never truly find it, and I am always left wanting.

True love can only ever be realized when you partner with your God Self.

We are two parts: physical self and unconscious self. The physical self is primal and animal like, instinctual and habitual. The unconscious self is that God fragment that resides in us. In our reality we only ever focus on the physical self. We are only aware of the unconscious self through the physical fruits in our life. The physical fruits in our life are an indication of the health of the unconscious self. Because we do not have relations with this God Fragment, we feel a void.

Our attempt at religion is merely trying to fill this void. The void will never be filled, though, because religion puts God outside of and separate from ourselves. We attempt to solve the problem by looking to something external and unattainable because we are afraid to look within.

Intuitively I know my answers lie within, but I lie to my self, creating false realities to avoid self responsibility. The self saboteur within likes to feel alone because that is all I feel I deserve. What has made me so scared? Why do I feel so unworthy? I need to embrace you God self but how can I find you?