Trusting the Process

I have a problem with over-analyzation, analysis paralysis, or just plain living in my head. My husband came up with a concept several years ago that I have given much thought to. He called it the Goal in Reverse. From my understanding it is like a goal but instead of having an idea of where you want to go and meticulously choosing the best path to get there, you do not know where you are going. He formed the concept after he was doing a bunch of activities that he could not find a connection between yet he had the idea they were connected. As time progressed he began to see the connections and realized they were leading him to something he could have never fathomed in a goal. Basically, the concept is going with the flow of events and trusting there is a connection. You may have a faint idea of where you are going, but you cannot figure out how to get there. Then you realize you are doing all these things that seem to be totally unconnected to what you want. Then there comes a day where you see the connections and you realize in these activities you perfected your abilities far beyond what you would have originally been able to do if you planned it yourself.

Now trusting the process means you remove yourself from analyzing the outcome and you allow things to manifest as they should in all appropriateness. A time came in thinking about the goal in reverse that I was getting a bit cocky. I was starting to see the connections in things, so I figured this gave me a sort of precognition to analyse future events based on present activities. One day, shortly before I moved from Las Vegas, I suddenly had the idea that my mission was to come to Washington State and help my niece out of her behavioural troubles. This issue with my niece is a heated one, that has gone on for quite some time; it is part of the reason I wanted to move to Las Vegas in the first place. I suddenly had the idea that I wanted to home school her, take over her discipline, and one day be allowed to adopt her as my own daughter. I thought my mother-in-law was finally at her wits end and would allow me to just take over.

Once I got here and began "working" with her, my delusions of grandeur and ideas of everything I wanted to do in this process got larger and larger. I thought I was reading the signs correctly; I thought my intuition in all things was becoming heightened. Life has a way of constantly showing you your place and keeping you in line. Arrogance can be our worst enemy because it shuts us off from other solutions. I found myself hitting wall after wall and getting more and more frustrated; I fancied that I should have never left Vegas, wondered why I wanted to adopt her in the first place, and found her presence more and more intolerable. I was loosing faith in the process, loosing faith in my intuition, and loosing faith in God. Was God just playing with me? Why did I experience such strong emotions about helping her when I couldn't even stand her? Every time I would experience some sort of forward movement, then everything would fall back. How could I do the things I saw if all this was failing so much?

Our interpretations of visions are not necessarily true. Sometimes the things we do and the actions we take seem like they are meant for a particular outcome. So when things happen that seem contradictory to where we "think" we are going it doesn't make sense. Patterns do exist we just have to be patient and wait for them to manifest. I also realize that if something keeps causing conflict then you need to take a step back and see if you are doing something wrong. The conflict I was experience is because I was trying to do things the way I thought they should be and not trusting the process to manifest something far beyond my mortal imagination. I have come to realize that my role here is not to remove my niece from an unproductive and conflict ridden situation; it is to help us all to work together to create the best solution for my niece to succeed. Without us all working together, she does not have a chance. Separate we are only so much, combined we are an impenetrable force. The power of water gently caressing the shore line manipulates it and sculpts a more beautiful and lasing change than the largest blast of dynamite. And water is many molecules working together.