Recognize Someone for Who They Are

Our view of the world is jaded or colored by our understanding; in other words our view is not clear and unobstructed. One particular subcatagory I have problems in is seeing people for who they are, not who I would like them to be. This brings on blindness and bias that could be harmful to future progression or keep old wounds from healing.

A boss who cannot see the bad work ethic of the friend he or she was promoted over because the friendship blinds and creates denial.

A mother cannot see her child is rude and disrespectful because this is her "sweet, innocent baby". She is in denial.

An older sister sees her younger sister as a slacker and "needs to get her act together". Because the older sister is blinded by responsibility and raising a family, she fails to see the beautiful, free spirited, talented potential the younger sister possesses. The older sister just needs to back off long enough to let the younger sister spread her wings.

And the list could continue, but this is sufficient. What this boils down to is failing to see something for what it is. "If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck then it is a duck." We need to recognize our built in bias and circumnavigate it. The boss with the bias of friendship may need to separate priorities. The mother may need to separate reality from fantasy. The older sister may need to cease manipulation of the situation.

I will take this newly found nugget of wisdom and apply this to all my relationships both present and future. Who knows this could also help to heal past wounds or recognize and rectify character judgment mistakes that are dragging me down.

Destroying the Seed

Any one who has ever planted a seed knows how futile it is to get it to grow quicker than its own natural process. Another futile effort is trying to tell the seed exactly what specifications it needs to grow into.

For example, you plant a marigold seed and fantasize about how tall it will be, how many blossoms it will have, how many leaves it will have, the color of the blooms, etc.; in other words this Marigold seed will turn out to be exactly as you fantasized, down to the last detail. That is just silly. Sure you have the idea it will be a marigold plant, but you have no way of knowing exactly what it will look like.

Now lets take this a step further. Several days have passed since you planted the seed, however you have not seen a sprout yet. In your impatience you adopt the belief that you forgot to give it something or you did not give it enough of something. So you start throwing all your resources at it: extra water; various varieties of plant food; some plant medicines in case it has a disease; a sunnier location; etc. This process even continues once the plant sprouts - if the plant sprouts because all the extra attention may have killed it - to speed up growth and assuage impatience.

As the caretaker of a seed, you only have the basic responsibilities to provide this seed with optimal growing conditions: adequate water; adequate food; proper light; additional intervention if the plant becomes sick; and occasional pulling of weeds that would otherwise choke the seed. No amount of extra effort can coax this seed to grow faster than its predetermined life progression or contract. Sometimes extra effort may positively influence the outcome but it cannot speed up the growth. Other times extra effort boils over into extremes, like over watering, and kills the seed.

Every expectation in life is a seed. Everything that initiates change is a seed. Every atavistic irritation that will not get out of your thoughts is a seed. Seeds are planted all the time in our lives. Our actions determine if this seed will take root, grow, and thrive, or, if it will fade out to be counted among the casualties of war.

This begs the question, what are you doing with your seeds? Will they thrive and strive, or will they struggle and die?

Dogma is Subservient

Recently I was asked to define my beliefs and if my beliefs ever changed. I decided that I hold two beliefs to be infallible: "If I am not growing, then I am dying" and "I am a child of God." These beliefs are simple and un-muddled by dogma; they are the highest and most governing factors in all decisions. All other beliefs are secondary and subservient because they are limited by my current understanding and error-prone perception. An example of secondary beliefs would be any belief that tells me how to act in regard to my primary beliefs. These beliefs are dogma. Dogma is fine and has a place: to define our intra- and interpersonal interactions. Secondary beliefs can never be infallible because I am always growing; my perceptions are always changing with the influx of new information, and are, therefore, subject to re-evaluation. I view any changes in secondary belief to be enlightening, welcome, and invigorating paradigm shifts that open me further to the world of possibilities.